reunited....

when my friend nikya decided to go to manila and live with his domestic partner, kentoy...i was half happy and half sad....half happy because like me, he is hopeless romantic too...hahahhaa...and i belive the dream of being with someone you truly love and adore coming true can be one of the best thing that can happen in life...half sad because i will be losing my billiard partner, coffee partner, booze partner and most of all, the witty conversations and arguments that we do...

now just a week ago, he went back to naga..damn i miss him..i didnt miss any moment and headed straight into their house..

i remember i told him before that being alone is not really that scary...most people find it frightening to go all by themselves...grow old alone and other shit....i have been alone for quite sometime...and frankly, it works for me...sometimes i get the urge and miss the kilig factor...but at the end of the day, i am free...free from emotional distress: free from a committment which i think i am the only one committed to...

i know people who are inlove will surely disagree with my statement above...hahahha...
kentoy rewrote nikya's blog...one post was for me...the last line utterly caight my attention...
he wrote there: in a crowded street you will see the person who rocked your world so shaken you almost lost yourself...
true...soo damn true...

explanation...

the question is….why did i even bother writing one…its because of this person who gave me a question which i cannot find the words right there and then to explain to him….
sabi mo, you don’t feel anything after what you’ve been through…I can take that…the blog post last november was for someone I met…someone I wish i didn’t meet…because, for one, he was a good friend…two, how i wish he wasn’t…three, things are not easy…hay…why am i having a hard time explaining it to you…i knew after you read these posts you will have a moment to think of things…I guess what i’m trying to say is, why do i bother explaining things here…when in fact the person I am trying to explain things to, doesn’t even have any emotions or any feelings…
I felt like I need to explain things to you….but i am having a hard time doing so…If things change, which i hope they won’t, at the end of the day, i will still be here. hmmmmm…a crazy, pathetic girl who keeps on stalking someone like you..:p

writing...

someone told me to stop watching teleseryes because my blog is like one…hahaha….hmp…since i know you are smart and arrogant at the same time..hehehe..I would take that as constructive criticism..hehehe…
Is my blog that bad???grrrrr….Anyhow,something happened….I used to think that things are easier but they are not…My life just suddenly became chaotic..again..but..but…in a positve way.. I finally realize I don’t need him anymore..not because he got his girl pregnant and that’s just soooo the end for me..for whatever I am holding on to..tapos na..garu kaipuhan ko ning may ma sampaling sako na pumundo na…hehehe…matagas man palan ang payo ko…siguro kung sa teleserye ni…ito na ining part na nagkatuluyan na si bidang babae saka si bidang lalake..si traydorang babae, sawi…hahahaha…and its me…I will never ever deny the fact na sana kita…dai ko na garu yan malelet go..in the sense na ika kaya ang one true love ko..ika ang hamlet kan buhay ni ophelia…pero mayo eh..may mga istorya talaga na mayong happy ending..at least on my end its not…for you..for both of you, i can see na maogma ka..sana pirmi…kung bako man sako, kung saiya mo man nahanap an kaogmahan na iyan..okay na yan sako..
oi, kung sa hiling mo garu pang telenobela ang blog ko…cge..puon ngonyan, gigibuhon ko nang dai masyadong masalimuot..I love the woodstock thing analogy that you told me…its pretty nice..ingat ka pirmi..

tula para saiya...

sa sarong irinuman
kita nagkamiridbidan
sa maurag mong pagitara
ako saimong nakua
asin puon kadto
nunca ka na nawara sa isip ko..
aram ko may iba
syempre nainot cya..
pero dawa na…
ako naging maogma
puon kan nag abot ka..
sain man kita maka abot
sa siroma man o sa sipocot,
ika sakuya nang moot.
saen man kita darahon kani
sa harayo o sa harani
ano man ang mangyari
ika pirmi sanang yaon digdi
garu man lang sarong kanta
na tuom tuom mo na..
malilingawan mo an iba
alagad ini dai na mawawara pa.
maghanap ka man iba
purbari ta mapupuniti ka…
ta gigibuhon ko gabos
para ika mapa ogma.
di aus na?
halat may hapot ako..
tama ang gibo mo?hehehe...


oh…may pagka emoshit ning post na ni…dai na magreact ta arog talaga kayan ang life…may mga emoshit na part….
minsan talaga, sa buhay ta…may reality slap na itatao anng mahal na Diyos…its either to make us realize we are stupid…or to make us realize we are smarter…but at the end of the day..its a matter of choice..sa mga pinipili ta, iyo ang nagdedesider kung mapakkapatal kita o dai…kung makukulugan ita o maoogma…siguro iyo na ni ang reality slap sako..
puon kan akki pa ko, aram ko, dai ako patal…honor man ngaya daa ko kan elementary pag graduate ko..nakalaog ako sa maurag na high school..na kaipuhan ko maglapigot mag adal to have a quality and free education..came college, iskolar ako brod…education honors program..but because of the very first reality slap in my existence…my addiction..
ngonyan, garu may test of character na naman..ang hapot..kung mapakapatal ako o dai…yan ang hapot..